The city sunset over me
Recent studies consider that fear of falling, along with fear of loud noises , is one of the most commonly suggested inborn or non-associative fears. The newer non-association theory is that fear of heights is an evolved adaptation to a world where falls posed a significant danger. The degree of fear varies and the term phobia is reserved for those at the extreme end of the spectrum.
I find myself at the beginning, the middle and the end of every instance of my fears.
My safety is just one side of the problem.
I sat in front of two ladders yesterday.
One was higher, the other was lower.
I climbed the lower one and found myself above the city.
to place myself right in the middle of the rooftop
so I could feel as safe as possible.
Then we started moving around.
It’s hard to place yourself right in the middle
and just enjoy the view.
As I was getting closer to an edge I felt that my fear was closely haunting me.
My uncontrollable, can’tstandtheworld fear…
and I suddenly stopped.
Sitting on edges, fears climbing up stairs, climbing up ladders , the sunset,
and you, forever taking pictures
so we won’t forget where we’re heading for.
It’s so unfair telling someone “Don’t ever change.”
You’re trying to hold on to their picture, you’re trying to make sure
that person will not be able to exist outside your life.
You erase their past and future,
you force that someone inside the cell of your own selfish insecure life
and throw away the key from high above.
Maybe that’s why I’m so afraid of heights.
Maybe hearing so many keys hit the ground after being locked up
in fortresses high above
made me think twice before climbing ladders, chasing the sunset and
posing in front of cloudy skies and other dusty rooftops.
Oh, but yesterday I felt safe. It only took a few minutes to start thinking
about you and me, about the camera and the sunglasses between us,
your yellow pale skin, my blue denim jumpsuit
and the kindness of a sun hiding behind tall grey buildings.
pictures and concept by Ionut
wonderful silk scarf from The Dear Hunters