Someone told me I should congratulate my parents on my birthday.
I think that person was right.
I have always felt they made the right choice when they decided to have me.
23 years have passed.
My parents are the ones responsible for developing a rather gentle Superego. Nobody feels this sounds accurate – they view it as essentially restrictive and punitive. I hope to find the time to actually do some serious research on this matter.
They are also responsible for me not having to believe in anything I do not want to.
They are responsible for me having tens of Christmas trees and nights of endless present opening.
They are responsible for me not having to care about holidays anymore.
They are responsible for me actually wanting to see them, without the “coming home for Christmas” bullshit.
This being said, I will not wish you anything special – because nothing special is actually going on and you know it.
Buy yourselves gifts, that is always nice – but not because it is December.
Buy others some gifts – this is always nice as well.
Do not try to be nicer to people unless you find the strength and reasons to do so.
Be honest with yourself and with others – this might mean conflict.
Do it nonetheless –
don’t stop just because everybody is mistaking “letting things go by without speaking about them” with forgiving.
Gather around a table and spoil yourselves with food served by others whenever you are hungry enough, not only on the New Year’s Eve . In my case, this happens almost everyday.
Be honest and get obnoxiously drunk on a Monday evening for a change.
Stop trying to spread an institutionalized “peace” or “serenity “- it does not work this way.
Be angry on the 25th of December if necessary, be kind if it feels right.
And please, stop wishing me happiness.
Because happiness is always an achievement, a mysterious territory never to be fully conquered.
Or at least not on this particular December or on many Decembers to come.
pictures made by Ionut