Deathly

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No one’s got that much ego to spend.

I spend my money on cigarettes and vodka and birth control pills,

On skirts and shoes and hats

And silky gowns – just to please them.

I smile and trip and fall,

Get up, cry a little,

Talk a little, fly a little.

I play such a bad victim.

I play such a bad abuser.

I spill my ego on bathroom floors,

2 A.M, girls who talk about the boys

Who never called back.

I spread my ego like make-up

Like black mascara or black eyeliner

Like lipstick or blush,

All over my face,

All over the place.

I spend my ego on sports cars I never drive.

I spend my ego on shoes I never wear.

I spend my ego on boys and girls

Who turn out

To be someone else’s toys.

Photos by Dorin Moldoveanu

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