My days are just like this : one is colorful, dusty pale pink wonderful people laughter, then the next is all dark black heavy grey heavy breathing through the noisy city. This is who I am after all : delicate, serene, enthusiastic and joyful. Then again, I am also: shadows, clouds, fog, confused and confusing, down in the ground. I carry Frank Booth inside myself like the heaviest stone – there are days when I forget about him and I feel light, lighter than before – then he starts kicking and screaming, making sure I would not forget about my heavy contrasts. No, I have not forgotten that I live “as if…’’ I am every to be happy.