I live on the Upper East Side now. Went for a walk in Central Park. Went for a walk on Madison Avenue, then on 5th Avenue, then Central Park. I showered before, put some make-up on, took photos of myself. I almost gracefully and completely plunged into my loneliness. It’s hard to explain why I had to be here or why living in New York city seems to be quite enough. I spent the last days alone. It gets hard sometimes. New beginnings– rough. There are few words in this world that can explain the rush I get while walking on Lexington Avenue, with those enormous, slender buildings shadowing me along the way. I did not spend my summer at the seaside. I did not get drunk on the beach and I did not have a summer fling. I flew more than five thousand miles just to get here. I changed my tiny, suffocating comfort zone with this infinite space those who do not understand call it dirty and loud New York. I did not start a family. I did not get a loan to buy a new house. I did not get married and I did not decide to settle. It may look grey or sad from the other side of the ocean. It is only now that I understand the freedom he enthusiastically used to talk about. I hope one day you will all understand it, live it and stop treating it like some unrealistic abstraction. For the first time in a long time I can wear whatever I please and not one single person harasses me, on the contrary, they compliment me. Dearest New York, I am irreversibly and unmistakably falling for you – like the inexperienced and naïve teenage girl I turned out to be.