Empty stomach blues

December 2015

Still feels like autumn came to rest
firmly asking for my chest
Chastity was never my thing
I kept a couple of firsts though-
Like riding fast cars, wheels off
with a boy that was never just a toy.

I feel vacant, yet recovering
Like some data hardly ever lost
Soft and gentle, slow like Bucharest’s traffic
– mornings, afternoons and evenings;
you tackle this hardware store we call our bodies
My mind: easy-going, software beta-testing itself
Endlessly
Centuries have passed so thank you for your constant reminders,
urging me to get better
and stop this whirlwind of regrets.

Curtains remain wide open

So much light gets in
Rain pours only from between my broken thighs-
thin, pale, veins and cracks.

Life turned out pale and thin,
– much more than ever.

My biggest mistake was to think of me
as the girl who became
mostly clever.

photography by Vivian Dünger